Frustrated? Confused? Just Keep Going…
Quick story: I first heard Rodney Atkin’s “If You’re Going Through Hell (Before the Devil Even Knows)” in 2006. I remember the exact day because it was my 25th birthday. I’d had gastroparesis for two years and I was still struggling quite a bit. To make matters worse, my jaw had been broken days earlier during a botched wisdom tooth extraction, so my mouth was wired shut and would have stay that way for 8 more weeks. As soon as we heard the lyrics, “things go from bad to worse, you think they can’t get worse than that…and then they do,” my boyfriend (now husband) and I looked at each other and burst out laughing. Too perfect.
Since then that song has become my anthem. Anytime I feel particularly frustrated about the challenges of living with gastroparesis, I crank it up and belt it out. It reminds me that the only way to overcome those challenges is to be proactive, maintain a positive attitude and keep moving forward.
Today I had the song on repeat. I really needed that reminder. Here’s why…
For the first three or four years after I was diagnosed with gastroparesis, I did so many things wrong. I didn’t know any better. At that time, I didn’t understand the importance of good nutrition. I didn’t realize that the body absolutely needs proper nourishment in order to function and especially to heal. Or, that without that nourishment I would wind up with a host of secondary issues. I didn’t know that the medication I was taking for misdiagnosed acid reflux was further impairing my digestion. I didn’t understand the power of the mind-body connection. I didn’t realize the toll that the chronic stress was taking mentally and physically. I wasn’t aware that continuing to whittle down my diet wouldn’t eventually lead to symptom resolution. And all of that led me farther and farther downhill.
Years later, I’m still climbing back up. Getting the gastric neurostimulator helped my gastroparesis symptoms a great deal, especially the nausea. But there are several symptoms that I still struggle with that, in my opinion, aren’t directly caused by gastroparesis. That’s not to say that they’re not a result of having gastroparesis. In fact, I’m sure they were caused by those mistakes I made early on: the severely limited diet, lack of proper nutrition, acid blocking medications, and poorly managed chronic stress.
I’m always looking for answers, so last Friday I had a consultation with Dr. Carolyn Dean, a medical doctor, naturopathic doctor, and author of The Magnesium Miracle. Dr. Dean is extremely kind and very knowledgeable. Based on my health history, we determined that there are likely a number of issues currently contributing to my GI symptoms and possibly even exacerbating the gastroparesis. These include insufficient stomach acid, sub-clinical hypothyroidism, magnesium deficiency, and yeast overgrowth.
None of this was a surprise to me. It’s all stuff that I’ve suspected based on my holistic health and nutrition training…but it was still a lot to process and my head has been spinning ever since. The yeast overgrowth is something I’ve been dancing around for a while, simply because it seems so difficult to treat. The best treatment is a very strict wheat-free, sugar-free, dairy-free, yeast-free diet — basically lots of veggies and protein. Not what we think of as GP-friendly and even harder with low stomach acid. I don’t eat a lot of these foods, mind you, but there’s whey protein in my Orgain (dairy), brown rice syrup in my MacroBars (sugar), and bananas in my smoothies (sugar). Hmm…
While my first instinct was to find a way to “make it work,” I know from personal and professional experience that that’s asking for trouble. Sweeping changes usually lead to horrible flare-ups for GPers. My next thought was that it’s simply impossible. Never going to work. I’m doomed to these things forever. (I tend toward extremes…)
I quickly started to feel really overwhelmed. So I took a breath, cranked up my song, danced it out for a few minutes, and then decided that tomorrow I will sit down, think through my options, and determine what makes the most sense for me, right now. And then I’ll give it a try. “Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.” (Luckily, the treatments for the magnesium deficiency and low thyroid are liquid supplements and should be well-tolerated. The low stomach acid is something I’ve already been working on.)
I’m sharing all of this to let you know that while I obviously have a very good handle now on living with gastroparesis, I still face challenges. Even though I’m committed to being positive and proactive, I still get frustrated, overwhelmed, and confused from time to time. It’s inevitable. The key to living well with gastroparesis is to not waste valuable time and energy wallowing in those feelings. Instead, figure out the best course of action and face the challenges head on.
As the song says…”if you’re going through Hell, keep on going!”
P.S. I’m also hoping this illustrates how the choices we make affect much more than just short-term symptom management. That’s why I’ve dedicated my career to providing the kinds of information and support that I wish had existed when I was diagnosed. I don’t want anyone else to make the mistakes I made because they don’t know any better. So, please take advantage of the resources that are available to you, become your own advocate and make your self-care your FIRST priority.
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10 Responses to “Frustrated? Confused? Just Keep Going…”
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Great post. I have a “mild” case of GP. I can not imagine have a “bad” case because some days this is horrible. BUT I am glad I found your site. Although I could not afford to take you 12week program, I hope to someday. GP is different but yet the same for everyone..weird huh?
Perfect for today! Thanks!
Hi Crystal,
I’ve had similar opinions from ND’s. Have you tried apple cider vinegar? Adding a teaspoon to some hot water in the morning or with meals can help increase your stomach acid without causing acid reflux like most acidic foods do. Also for me, giving up wheat and dairy and limiting refined sugars is what finally cleared my yeast/candida after years of problems as well as taking a good probiotic, at least 20 billion. I’m interested in what liquid magnesium you are taking?
Through all the suffering we go through we have to think of what it has taught us about health, nutrition and taking life a bit more slowly.
Great post and lots of ideas for us all to consider!
Oh yeah, here’s a good link to info on apple cider vinegar!
http://bodyecology.com/articles/apple_cider_vinegar.php
Hi, Stephanie. Yes, thank you, I am using a teaspoon of apple cider vinegar in 2 ounces of water before meals. I’ve tried ACV several times in the past, but in higher amounts (i.e. 1 tablespoon) — this seems to be working much better. I’ve known for quite some time that low stomach acid is part of my issues, so I’ve done a ton research. For anyone who is interested, one of the best books I’ve read about it is Why Stomach Acid is Good For You by Dr. Jonathan Wright. It makes it very easy to understand and presents a number of solutions to help increase stomach acid and/or treat symptoms of reflux naturally.
As for the magnesium, I’m actually using three different kinds though I didn’t mention them all in the post. I’m using magnesium oxide solely for it’s laxative properties (this kind of magnesium is only 4% absorbed — basically worthless for treating deficiency). I’m using Angstrom magnesium to treat the deficiency and magnesium lotion to rub directly on my abdomen.
Warmly,
Crystal
[...] and informative as my other fellow bloggers have done. There are some great reads out there. Living with Gastroparesis, My Broken Stomach. I have learned a lot from these writers and hope to contribute as [...]
Hi Crystal,
I was just directed to your site from people at GPACT and so glad to have found it! I’ve been diagnosed for a several months now with severe GP and am soon getting evaluated for the pacemaker. This post was SO good to read! I’m definitely going to look up the song.
I also have yeast issues and subclinical hypothryoidism (as well ast T1 diabetes and some others), so it is really helpful for me to have this benefit of your hindsight, though of course I wish someone had been there to provide it for you. I just ordered your book on amazon and I look forward to reading more from your site.
Thanks so much for your invaluable information.
Katie
“I didn’t know that the medication I was taking for misdiagnosed acid reflux was further impairing my digestion. ”
Before being properly diagnosed with gastroparesis, my doctor that I had just acid reflux. I am now told that the acid reflux is caused by the gastroparesis and my doctor told me to continue to take the acid reflux medicine (Dexilant). Does this medicine further impair my digestion like yours did?
Crystal, I’m taking bromelain enzymes before meals and they alone solved about 95% of my reflux problem (due to low stomach acid). I’m thinking about starting with the apple cider vinegar as well, but am afraid it might interfere with the enzymes. Do you know if this could happen?
…..I didn’t realize that the body absolutely needs proper nourishment in order to function and especially to heal. Or, that without that nourishment I would wind up with a host of secondary issues…..
Hi Crystal, nice write up. You really nail it on the head right there.
Daniel